What do you think about the problem of believing everything you think? Let me ask: how much of what you think do you actually believe?
As a coach, I have worked with some really incredible people who have an amazing depth of wisdom. They rely on their knowledge, skills, experience, and intuition, and it serves them well. However, they will also be the first to tell you that there have been times when they regret rejecting the opinions and ideas of others in favor of their own, let’s just say, unwise ideas.
When asked what led up to this, some will point to blind spots, or hidden bias. But others confess to simple over confidence: they wouldn’t listen to others and held fast to what they believed to be true. Sound familiar?
It’s not uncommon for leaders. After all, their expertise often catapults them to where they are today. But, have you noticed how truly great leaders have the wisdom and courage to question their own convictions?
They do this with three key tactics:
- Accept that everyone has limits, including you.
- Surround yourself with a diversity of experts and empower them to ethically and courageously persuade you.
- Practice flexibility, collaboration, and compromise.
Sounds simple enough, but…why don’t we “just do it?”
Why Believing Everything You Think Is a Problem
First, it’s easy to forget that we don’t know what we don’t know. Add to that how facts quickly change, either through new data, discoveries, or perspectives, and what was once right may be outdated.
Second, as leaders it’s our job to persuade others to follow us—our vision, our strategy, and our plans, even if there is a better way (or we are wrong!) Changing how we see ourselves can feel threatening.
Third, we are hard-wired to conserve mental energy. I’ve written about this in the past, here. We learn something, and move on. In today’s highly competitive and fast-paced world, there is no time for second-guessing ourselves. As Adam Grant writes in Think Again: The Power of Knowing What You Don’t Know (Viking, 2021), “questioning ourselves makes the world more unpredictable.”
Finally (or for now), we—including those around us—often don’t know how to use persuasion effectively. One solution to believing everything we think is to practice ethical persuasion. I’ll dive in to this in another post. In the meantime, what do you think? What problems do you encounter in believing everything you think? I’d love to hear from you. You can reach me here, on LinkedIn, or give me a call: 561-582-6060.
