When encountering conflicts and crisis, do you know when to intervene?
I’ve been writing about this in recent posts. Based on the conversations I’ve had regarding de-escalation techniques, there’s a wide range in responses and levels of confidence. This makes sense, because we can’t be experts in everything. It’s unrealistic. But the great people I work with care. They want to do all they can to help others. So the bigger question is, do you know when you should intervene, and when you should call for help?
Clearly, I hope you wouldn’t attempt to intervene in a situation of road rage. It’s best to contact the authorities when it is safe to do so. Similarly, any situation involving a weapon should be managed by a trained specialist.
Then there are the situations when our emotions have exceeded our rationality. It happens with people we don’t know and people we know well: colleagues, friends, neighbors, and family. This is when a conflict can quickly escalate; we get hooked by our natural mimic reflex making it more difficult to disengage. In that case, walking away or postponing the conversation may be the best option.
When (and How) to Step Aside
Here are a few tips to use this method of de-escalation and strengthen the relationship:
- Take a physical step aside. Visualize insults passing by, missing you.
- Talk about the process, not about the message. “I hear you are angry. I feel angry. I don’t want to raise my voice with you as it won’t be productive. I need to take a break. Can we talk about this at ___ (time).” If you need more time to gain your equilibrium, ask for it.
- Meet as agreed. Focus on common goals or interests.
Avoid These Three Traps
- Don’t ignore anger (yours or others), rather acknowledge it.
- Don’t take someone else’s anger personally. Even if it is about you, recognize your own feelings about the issue, and remain calm (non-attached.)
- Don’t feed someone’s anger by trying to stop it, rather, create a safe place to properly voice feelings.
Conflicts and Crisis at Work
Every employer should have a Workplace Violence Prevention Plan tailored for their organization. A robust plan reflects their type of business/service and the clients they serve, resources, physical layout, organizational culture, and communication and training expectations. While it may be uncomfortable or unpleasant, all employees should participate in periodic violence prevention training to strengthen their knowledge and confidence.
What do you think? When encountering conflicts or crisis, do you know when to intervene and when to step aside? I’d love to hear from you. You can reach me here, on LinkedIn, or give me a call: 561-582-6060.
