When it comes to organizational success, leadership personality matters. Leaders with strong social intelligence know how, and when, to express polite respect by deferring to the needs and interests of others. For these leaders, it is a conscious concession. But for others, a dangerous deference replaces conscious concession.
Understanding Deference
For leaders, deference can be attributed to ongoing challenges, a sense of futility or disdain for parts of the job. It becomes dangerous when they approach their role with passivity and defer to others in order to avoid confrontation. Overly humble or timid, they struggle with an inner turmoil that creates problems for their organizations.
Ultimately, deferring leaders become needy. They seek affirmation, try to fit in and crave acceptance. Deferring leaders may work overtime to avoid rocking the boat.
I have empathy for these leaders. They yearn for safety and hope to avoid intimidating situations. I also have empathy for their colleagues and coworkers: deferring leaders shy away from taking a stand, are better followers than leaders, and respond reactively rather than proactively. Work is severely compromised in a setting that appears peaceful, but which actually lacks direction, determination and vision. Staffers endure significant stress as they question their purpose and future.
Deference increases leaders’ internal tension, anxiety and self-doubt. As problems mount, they take on a life of their own, overshadowing day-to-day activities. A vicious cycle develops: Problems diminish leaders’ confidence, making their next responses less effective and causing new problems to be increasingly severe.
Overcoming the Cycle of Deference
Self-assessment is ineffective in this situation. Without professional assistance, leaders cannot evaluate their issues, make necessary adjustments, or overcome their biases and blind spots. They must work with a trusted colleague, mentor or experienced executive coach to overcome their deferential tendencies.
Leaders can learn that a more definitive style mitigates many troubles. They can become more effective by adopting a more independent, confident mindset, thereby reducing anxiety and avoidance.
What do you think? What examples of conscious concession do you see in your organization? What about dangerous deference? You can call me at 561-582-6060, let’s talk. And as always, I can be reached here or on LinkedIn.
