As a coach, I often see leaders frequently ignore and squelch their emotional voices. But this approach doesn’t win much respect with our largest US workforce: research suggests that millennials are driven by open communication, a great company culture, involvement with causes and achieving purpose and fulfillment. As such, smart leaders seeking to engage employees in their work are ready, willing and able to be vulnerable. But it takes practice.
Vulnerability is a skill that takes time to develop; after all, it is contrary to our human nature to protect and defend.
“We are trained and rewarded, in schools and in organizations, to lead with a fast, witty and critical mind. And it serves us well. The mind can be logical, clear, incisive and powerful. It perceives, positions, politics and protects. One of its many talents is to defend us from emotional vulnerability, which it does, at times, with jokes and quick repartee.
Peter Bregman
Expressing Leadership Vulnerability
When expressed in a constructive way, vulnerability is a leadership strength, and draws more respect than if you pretended not to be vulnerable. But I have also seen vulnerability demonstrated in unfortunate ways, which are equally damaging.
Doing it for show draws attention to yourself, as David Williams asserts in The Best Leaders Are Vulnerable. This is a false humility designed to impress people with an overly-relational air, hoping to gain favor. Being humorously critical of yourself may be effective on occasion, but when done regularly its fakeness is detected.
Instead, be honest. Sincerely owning up to mistakes is the most effective way to show vulnerability. I wrote about this in my last post. A leader who accounts for their actions well enough to take the heat turns vulnerability to an advantage. Are you ready?
Practice Leadership Vulnerability
Here are two more steps you can take to practice vulnerability:
- Ask someone for forgiveness. It can feel like an extremely vulnerable act, but the benefits are great – for both parties. Showing the desire to restore a relationship, and taking the lead, is an honorable, trustworthy behavior that draws people.
- Offer forgiveness. Likewise, offering forgiveness to someone who’s hurt you doesn’t mean you are weak. It means you are above the discord and strong enough to initiate its repair.
Leaders resistant to expressing vulnerability are often concerned that they will be taken advantage of. Displaying genuine vulnerability will show you that this is not the case. It takes courage to head down this path, but it’s a journey that can enhance your leadership more than adopting any other trait.
A leader who identifies their weaknesses can develop the ability to reveal them in the proper setting and manner. The skills of a qualified leadership coach can be of great benefit in this area. Self-awareness leads to greater comfort in being transparent about your vulnerabilities.
What do you think? How willing are you to be vulnerable? How have you turnd your vulnerabilities into strengths? I’d love to hear from you. You can call me at 561-582-6060, let’s talk. And as always, I can be reached here, or on LinkedIn.
