As a manager, how do you deal with the narcissistic employee?
Many leaders and managers today are addressing this question as promotions—and in some cases, positions—are in short supply. To be sure, narcissists often excel at innovating and thinking in original ways, and they achieve spectacular results in their field of expertise; they are superstars. But at what cost?
As many managers can attest, most narcissists are not team players: they fail to play well with others. I have seen this all too often in my work as a coach. Add to that the need for social distance, and in many cases, remote/virtual team work, narcissistic tendencies may not be noticed, or even addressed.
Recognize Narcissistic Tendencies
We are all somewhat narcissistic, or self-centered. If we lacked this tendency, we couldn’t survive or assert our needs. Some experts call this “productive narcissism.”
Productive narcissists are not all bad: they pose critical questions to learn everything that can possibly affect their companies and products. They want to admiration and respect, but not necessarily love. After all, they are driven to gain power and glory. As such, narcissists aggressively pursue goals and are less concerned with rules and “the way things have always been done.”
Of all personality types, narcissists run the greatest risk of isolating themselves, especially during moments of success. Because of their independence and aggressiveness, they are constantly looking out for enemies. When stressed, they can become paranoid.
As a narcissist becomes increasingly self-assured, they act more spontaneously. They feel free of constraints, and ideas flow. A narcissist believes that they’re invincible, which further inspires enthusiasm from their admirer’s and feeds into feelings of grandiosity and overconfidence.
But the adoration narcissists crave can have a corrosive effect. I think we’ve all seen examples of this. As their personalities expand, they tune out cautionary words and advice.
Manage the Narcissistic Employee
Not all narcissistic employees, however, are so entrapped by their personalities that they can’t be open to change and willing to learn. Here are a few tips for managers and leaders.
- Share the principles of Ubuntu or a similar philosophy with all members of your team. Privately talk to your narcissistic employee about narcissism, and the patterns of behavior you are seeing. Document your discussions, and follow-up as indicated. Hold every member of your team accountable for their actions.
- Assign a trusted mentor. Many narcissists can develop a close relationship with one person, who can act as an anchor and keep them grounded. But this person must be knowledgeable and sensitive enough to manage the relationship (and not be manipulated.) Narcissistic employees rarely trust other insights and views of reality.
- Offer counseling or executive coaching. Narcissistic employees who become self-reflective are likely to be more open, likable, and better team players. If they can be persuaded to undergo counseling or coaching, they can work through their rage, alienation, and grandiosity. They can keep their strengths and diminish their weaknesses to overcome vital character flaws.
Organizational resilience requires leaders and managers who know how to motivate talented and ethical people within a socioeconomic system that creates value for customers, employees, and owners. When they are able to lead their team in healthy ways to sacrifice on behalf of team goals, they can achieve amazing results.
What do you think? How do you manage the narcissistic employee? I’d love to hear from you. I can be reached here, on LinkedIn, or give me a call: 561-582-6060.
