What is your criteria for asking someone for help? As a coach, I find there is a wide range of criteria (some conscious, some not) when asking for help. On one end of the spectrum are leaders who have developed a method to recognize when, where/who and what; the “how” to efficiently ask for help and maintain peak performance. At the other end of the spectrum are leaders with a mindset that “help” is a four letter word; it is pejorative to ask for help.
Why Leaders Don’t Ask for Help
Unfortunately, some of these leaders believe that they don’t need help—under any circumstances. They feel their skills and knowledge are sufficient to do their jobs. After all, they’ve been doing their jobs all along, and things seem to be alright; stuff is getting done.
This kind of perspective represents an “iceberg outlook” where only a surface-oriented assessment is made. What lies below the surface is either unknown or ignored. If a leader’s experience or skill level prevent seeing what lurks under the surface, their ship is in danger.
I also encounter leaders who are so inundated with day-to-day crises that they are robbed of the opportunities to step back and evaluate what might be hiding below the waves. If dangers are suspected down there, some leaders aren’t willing to face them; exploration is postponed until a more “opportune” time arrives.
And, it’s not uncommon for leaders to envision the most positive outlook. They reason that they can manage their challenges, and external help won’t be of much benefit. Unfortunately, unrealistic optimism, or cognitive bias, causes blind spots.
Human behavior experts agree our self-assessments are flawed because we generally see what we want to see. The Psychology Today article,“Metaperceptions: How Do You See Yourself?”describes how we paint ourselves in the most positive light. But the best source of objective information about a leader’s abilities and tendencies is from another set of eyes. This is where a trained executive coach is invaluable.
Getting the Right Help
Executive coaches have the skills to assess circumstances without the influence of personal or emotional ties, or organizational tradition. They are trained to diagnose issues from observation, discussions and experience. When a leader sees the truth about their situation, their coach can guide them through the process to address issues with fresh perspectives, thinking and behaviors.
The best leaders learn that everyone has blind spots. The key is to identify and overcome them. More and more leaders credit the added viewpoint of a qualified executive coach who leads them to see what they never saw themselves. They are also thankful for a coach’s ability to guide them through a process to discover their own solutions.
What do you think? Is help your four letter word? What is your criteria for asking for help? I’d love to hear from you. You can call me at 561-582-6060, let’s talk. And as always, I can be reached here, or on LinkedIn.
