I’ve been writing about destructive workplace conflict and how great leaders take control in conflict resolution. Here’s another tip: Before entering into a difficult conversation, I often suggest leaders prepare by aligning thoughts, feelings, and micro-actions with their most worthy intentions.
Why? Humans trust actions above other forms of communication. Periodically observe your micro- and macro-actions: your body language, vocal tone, and most importantly, your priorities.
When I’m coaching leaders, we use a checklist before any important event:
- Before engaging in an important conversation, practice your favorite pre-game ritual, a repeatable process for getting yourself in your intended zone. It could be listening to music or an affirmation, meditating, or reading a favorite quote or something funny to put yourself in a good mood.
- Use actions that signal comfort. You already know how to have perfectly aligned body language in situations where you feel comfortable. Observe how you behave when at ease and put those same actions into play when you begin to feel stress.
- Breathe deeply. This sends a signal to your nervous system to relax.
- Focus on your core values and beliefs.
- Make eye contact with people.
- Smile more: 99% of people who see themselves videotaped at work agree they need to smile more. It improves your presence to others and reinforces good thoughts for yourself.
- Pause and refocus. Ask questions and make sure you’re tracking with your listeners.
Often, calming others depends on how well we manage our own emotions and physical actions. Self-awareness is critical. No matter what we feel, it’s important to recognize and accept it; don’t fight it, don’t resist. That only makes it worse. Instead, own what it is you feel. You wouldn’t feel anything if you didn’t truly care.
Ensure alignment between your intention and your actions. Make known your beliefs, values, and the things you do to advance your intentions. Let people know who you are by letting them know why this issue is important to you.
What do you think? How do your highest intentions align with your actions? What steps do you take to resolve destructive workplace conflict? I’d love to hear from you. You can call me at 561-582-6060, or, I can be reached here or on LinkedIn.
