As much as we’d like to believe otherwise, anger at the leadership level remains a pressing issue. And it’s not always a bad thing: anger prompts us to take action—to learn, grow and improve. However, failure to resolve anger effectively is a problem for some leaders.
Fortunately, when an anger issue is acknowledged, an approach to diffuse it can be created. Personality and emotional needs determine the best means to manage anger in leadership. The key is not to ignore it or repress it: two ineffective responses I frequently see in leaders.
As with any disorder (or challenging personality trait that causes difficulty), anger that is ignored grows worse. Ignoring the problem certainly makes for less work, at least for the short term. However, this eventually creates problems more serious than the initial displays of anger.
The Dangers of Repressing Anger
Repressing anger yields no resolution. Stuffing angry feelings can take two different tracks for the leader. It often creates an internal pressure that eventually needs to blow, sometimes physiologically. Heart and brain function are put under stress leading to possible heart attacks, panic attacks, high blood pressure, nervous breakdowns or fainting. Prolonged stress of this type takes its toll on life longevity. No leader would agree that any situation at work is worth this kind of risk to health.
Another effect of repressing anger is more subtle, but damaging nonetheless. Holding in anger is counter to natural emotional release. Over time, repression can cause fatigue, burnout, depression, even physical illness. Migraines, indigestion, susceptibility to colds and flu, loss of appetite and weight loss, and disorientation are potential side effects. Such deterioration is certainly not worth the attempt to repress anger and pretend things don’t bother you.
Undoubtedly, genuine anger management is work. It takes a focused effort and continuous determination to break an anger habit. It helps to recognize that there is nothing wrong with anger; it’s a normal emotion that everyone experiences in some way. But overcoming an anger issue is challenging when going it alone. Most leaders find the assistance and encouragement of a qualified executive coach invaluable.
Recognize When Anger Happens
Anger is best resolved by recognizing as it happens, and when it happens. A leader who can discern the onset of anger and step back to reflect on its presence has the best chance of dealing with it in a healthy way. Learn your trigger points.
Being familiar with your emotional patterns can prepare you for the next time. It can help you apply the necessary filters to avoid getting upset. Training your mind to anticipate and disarm what once enflamed you is a powerful tool.
Awareness of an anger-instigating threat is also helpful in slowing your responses down. Learn to pause and assess your feelings, encourages BodeTree CEO Chris Meyers in Forbes. Take a deep breath and use more of the logical, trouble-shooting part of your mind. Anger can be expressed calmly with great effect. Your message can still be delivered with firmness, but under control. This gains respect and trust.
Reject and Redirect
Another successful approach comes from learning to substitute negative feelings with positive ones. This is not repression, but rather mastering control over negative feelings. Expert business coach Marshall Goldsmith summarizes this technique in a Harvard Business Review article. He encourages leaders to reject the negativity of anger, and not allow themselves to be defeated by this threat.
Make a choice to not let anger get the best of you. You can still be angry, but not let it get out of hand. Choosing to dismiss the anger leaves room for a more positive feeling to take its place.
What do you think? How do you resolve anger effectively? You can call me at 561-582-6060, let’s talk. And as always, I can be reached here, or on LinkedIn.
