People are naturally drawn to leaders who establish trust and confidence through powerful interpersonal communication. When managers and leaders communicate interpersonally, employees feel cared for and connectedness increases. But while you, the speaker, are using words to say what you mean, those words only count for seven percent of the meaning that is perceived by listeners.
Most of what we communicate is unconscious—we say one thing, but our body language speaks louder than our words. So do our facial and non-verbal expressions. Consider what science has revealed about how we communicate with others:
- Our brain’s mirror neurons fire when we observe others experiencing emotions, and we wind up experiencing similar feelings. These “contagious emotions” allow us to connect with one another, experience empathy and anticipate thoughts.
- You emit low-frequency sounds that align with the most powerful person near you through matching vocal tones.
- When you communicate with someone else, your brain patterns align—even if you happen to disagree.
Employees respond optimally when they know their leaders appreciate their engagement, involvement and commitment. Practice considerate communication by attempting to understand others’ perspectives. Use honoring and appreciative language, and avoid accusatory or resentful approaches. Strive for face-to-face communication that builds relationships.
I understand the necessity of indirect connections like the telephone, email or social media, but whenever possible, allow people to see how much you care with in-person dialogue or virtual in-person meetings.
Interpersonal Communication Tips
Active listening is a vital communication skill. Unfortunately, many leaders focus only on what they want to say and deprioritize what others say to them. This damages communication and the trust leaders need to build with their people. Good communicators show they want to understand what others have to say. They ask questions and repeat back what they’ve heard for confirmation. Leaders who show transparency by admitting they may not initially grasp something gain trust and make greater relational progress.
Good communicators also want to confirm their audience understands the information they’re given. Ask open-ended questions to ensure you’ve succeeded; simply asking if you were understood isn’t always adequate. Ask listeners for specific feedback: what they think about your information or the chance to voice alternative ideas.
Tell stories to communicate ideas and connect with people. Everyone loves to hear personal experiences, which you can use to illustrate concepts or offer analogies. Perhaps the best way to personalize your connections and enhance your communications is to be thankful for people’s attention. As Dianna Booher puts it in Communicate Like a Leader: Connecting Strategically to Coach, Inspire, and Get Things Done (Berrett-Koehler Publishers, 2017), give people kudos whenever possible. Thank them out of habit, and show them how much you value communicating with them.
What do you think? What evidence of strong interpersonal communication do you see in your organization? You can call me at 561-582-6060, let’s talk. And as always, I can be reached here, or on LinkedIn.
