I think we can all agree: we know how important it is for leaders to step up their skills, and practice, in the art of listening. Listening well is beneficial to everyone. It allows leaders to identify opportunities, innovate, and increase profitability. It strengthens relationships, builds better teams, and bridges gaps. So why aren’t leaders listening well?
When this topic comes up with my coaching clients, I point out three common reasons.
Incredible Brain Capacity
First, consider our incredible brain capacity. The human brain is a remarkable, complex system with enormous power to process information through electrical signals. Like a computer (or artificial intelligence), it has circuits for input, output, central processing (CPUs), and memory. The human brain also uses parallel processing, and, according to Liqun Luo, professor of neurobiology at Stanford University, has “superior flexibility, generalizability, and learning capability than the state-of-the-art computer.”
On average, the human brain thinks at 500 words per minute (Wpm). However, we only speak at an average of 130 Wpm. This frees up a lot of CPUs when we are listening, and we begin to multi-task.
Emotional Distractions
Second, emotional distractions create a lack of presence and inability to listen. These include:
- Impatience
- Resentment and envy
- Fear and feeling threatened
- Fatigue and frustration
- Overexcitement (happiness, joy, attraction)
- Insecurities and/or a need to be “right”
Have you experienced this? When we think we already know what someone is going to say, we often stop listening, and begin crafting a solution and response. When this happens, we move away from a place of curiosity, a keystone of listening.
Limited Perspective
Similarly, our limited perspective can interfere with our listening. When we think we know what someone is going to say, or hear something that contradicts what we think or feel, we stop listening. We fail to acknowledge that we don’t know what we don’t know. We hold on to bias, beliefs, and pre-conceived notions.
Inability to Act
Often times, leaders who struggle in the art of listening are simply struggling with their own perceived inability to act on suggestions and ideas. As a result, they shut down the flow of ideas and requests, and move to a defensive position where they do all the talking. Sure, they may empathize (and emphasize) how much they care, but they are not listening.
What do you think? What other things, or circumstances, keep leaders from listening well? Do you recognize when and why you are not fully listening? I’d love to hear from you. You can call me at 561-582-6060, let’s talk. And as always, I can be reached here, or on LinkedIn.
