Do you really understand your drives and values?
When this topic comes up with my coaching clients, we talk about how our ideas of self are molded at a very early age. Parents, care givers, and teachers encourage certain behaviors that help us integrate with our peers. We are encouraged to go-along, to get-along.
Unfortunately, even well intentioned adults can send messages counter to our actual nature or personality type. “You are so good at following the rules,” doesn’t acknowledge your ability (and desire) to question arbitrary or unfair rules. We develop a limited, if not warped, sense of self.
In reality, we are remarkably complex. I wrote about this in my last post. Our environment and social context contribute to the actions we take; they influence our values and motivations.
According to Johnmarshall Reeve, PsyD, in “Understanding Motivation and Emotion,” (Wiley, 2018), “Through our unique experiences, exposures to particular role models, and awareness of cultural expectations, we acquire different goals, values, attitudes, expectations, aspirations, and views of self.”
What Are Your Drives?
All humans have four basic drives that are embedded in our genetic DNA and remain active in us today:
- The drive to acquire
- The drive to bond
- The drive to learn
- The drive to defend
These basic drives have helped in our survival as a species. But, what drives us beyond mere survival? How do we go from survive to thrive?
From Survive to Thrive
Based on their research, Drs. Eduard Spranger and Gordon Allport identified a hierarchy of values, when in certain combinations shape our interests and level of satisfaction:
- Aesthetic: A drive for balance, harmony, and form
- Altruistic: A drive to help others; for humanitarian efforts
- Economic: A drive for economic or practical returns
- Individualistic: A drive to stand out as independent and unique
- Political: A drive to have influence; to be in control
- Regulatory: A drive to establish order, routine, and structure
- Theoretical: A drive for knowledge, learning and understanding
Understanding your individual hierarchy of values—how you rate each value, and how they combine—can help you understand what drives you, and how you can go from survive to thrive.
What do you think? How well do you understand your drives and values? I’d love to hear your thoughts. You can call me at 561-582-6060, let’s talk. And as always, I can be reached here, or on LinkedIn.
