What would you say is the mark of a master negotiator?
We all spend a great deal of time negotiating. Just getting to the office often requires the negotiation of activities, meals, and space (think nutrition versus convenience, after-school activities, commuter lanes, etc.)
At work, we negotiate our way through business deals, customer relations, office politics, and career advancements. Such negotiations often require the agility of Captain America, the stamina of Dean Karnazes, and the wisdom of Yoda. Of course, most of us are not super-heroes or world class athletes.
Negotiation is the process of agreement that takes place between individuals or organizations autonomously (by algorithms or machines) or human interaction (verbal or written dialogue). Generally, the objective is to identify common interests and resolve opposing differences. However, traditional wisdom that points to a win-win strategic formula of trades and compromises is not without challenges.
Prepared and Agile
I agree with authors Michael Wheeler and Jeff Cummings, who write in The Art of Negotiation: How to Improvise Agreement in a Chaotic World, “agility is the mark of a master negotiator. Yes, preparation is important, but negotiation is a two-way street.” The ability to think and understand quickly is crucial.
You see, negotiations often break down when people focus on their positions, rather than on legitimate interests. The resulting polarization squelches curiosity, creativity, and compassion. As a coach, I see this happen in positional bargaining, where egos are hooked, relationships become strained, and neither party is satisfied.
Let’s say, for example, that you want your children to eat something healthy for breakfast. You offer an orange, a cup of unsweetened steel-cut oats, and a cup of unsweetened almond milk. They counter that they want sweetened cereal and a glass of sweetened juice. You then drop your offer to half-an orange, three bites of the oats, and no less. One of your children counters with two orange sections. This exchange goes on until you meet in the middle.
However, the problem with this tactic is that the legitimate interests are not addressed, rather, both parties focus on their position and the compromise does not take into account the needs of either party.
What do you think? What would you say is the mark of a master negotiator? I’d love to hear from you. You can call me at 561-582-6060, let’s talk. And as always, I can be reached here, or on LinkedIn.
