Why Likeability Still Matters

When you hear the word “likeability,” what is your reaction?

Peruse any book store and you can find a plethora of titles encouraging us to care less about what others think; to not give a !@#$. This recent trend reveals our vulnerability to conforming, people pleasing, and lacking healthy boundaries. But the truth is, likeable people cultivate skills that support, encourage, and unite others, often toward common goals.

Recently, I read research published in The Economic Journal regarding the influence of likeability in interactions between women, as well as interactions between men and women, but not in all-male interactions. The researchers conducted experiments where participants rated the likeability of other participants, based on photographs. Yes, I was surprised that the research focused only on physical traits.

Certainly, likeability is more than a display of niceness, agreement, or even our looks. And, likeability can be learned, practiced, and improved. It requires great self-awareness, self-care, and people-skills.

Defining Likeability

Likeability is the combination of who, how and why: who we are (our personality and physical traits), how we interact with others (our social skills), and why—our motivations.

Traits/Characteristics
- Personality/Character traits
  - Sense of humor
  - Open-minded
- Physical Traits
  - Facial features
Skills
- Ability to listen well
- Ability to express empathy
- Self-awareness
- Knowledge
Attitudes
- Positivity
- Beliefs
- Values
Behaviors
- Tone in communication
- Credibility/Believability

Your credibility is a critical factor in your likeability. According to marketing expert Rohit Bhargava, author of Likeonomics: The Unexpected Truth Behind Earning Trust, Influencing Behavior, and Inspiring Action (Wiley, 2012), “People decide who to trust, what advice to heed, and which individuals to forge personal or transactional relationships with based on a simple metric of believability.”

Likeability is the congruence of values, attitudes and behaviors; it is proportional to your authenticity to self.

What do you think? How do you define likeability? I’d love to hear from you. You can call me at 561-582-6060, let’s talk. And as always, I can be reached here, or on LinkedIn.